The $300 lease program was for suckers

And I apparently was one of them.

See, they can't just turn off your channels because they launched a new satellite. What they do is get the first batch of suckers to lease (not buy) the new non-tivo hd dvr's for $300 knowing that for those who don't immediately bite, they'll just throw it in for free.

Sure enough, I got the automated message on my answering machine telling me I needed to contact them for a free equipment upgrade because pretty soon I would not be able to get any hd channels.

I called up and sure enough, they're sending me out the same damn non-tivo hd dvr they expected me to pay $300 to lease back in September!

Great marketing Directv. Always assume your customers are stupid and treat them acccordingly. After all, most of the stupid ones will never find out and the smart ones would have left anyways.

So pretty soon at least I'll get the expanded set of hd channels but still will have to burn my old shows to dvd and give up the tivo feature where it records programs it thinks you'll like.

What brings my directv value to me is that I end up watching programming I never knew existed because of that feature. Somebody at HBR should write a case study on this.

Problem creatively resolved but with bizarre twist

I sent a nice email to Directv's CEO, Chase Carey, explaining this mess and they called me the next day.

"This is so and so with the office of the president..." they said.

I was a bit confused before why they said they'd take back the dvr after all but in same breath were telling me I couldn't get a refund. Well I found out why. It turns out that the $300 I spent on their new piece-of-crap dvr (that won't let you transfer your old programs and isn't Tivo or tivo-like) wasn't to buy, but to lease!

What the heck? Why would I lease a dvr for $300? Isn't a lease like where you pay a small amount each month; basically renting it?

I had absolutely no clue this is what I had gotten myself into and caution anyone else not to make the same mistake. This is where it nearly got worse.

I told the guy this was making the situation even worse than before, that I'd never lease something like a dvr, especially for $300.

They graciously agreed to credit my account the $300, but at some point I'm told I'll have to convert when their existing channels get turned off and moved to their new system.

Yeah, but I'll take the free one from their automated phone call that said I could upgrade at no additional cost.

Yeah right. That's probably going to be a non-hd dvr too. If I want the hd dvr I can pay the $300 lease fee I bet!

Then I'll be back where I started.

Lie #2

So I called the other day to ask where my return kit is they said they were going to send me?

They said that I wasn't going to get one after all; that all sales are final, etc...

If I was led to believe I couldn't return the piece of crap dvr, then why would I just let it sit in my living room in a box collecting dust? I mean, wouldn't I at least try selling it on ebay or something?

Yeah, if I thought they weren't going to take it back, which they said they would.

But they seem to be able to get away with taking peoples' money and lying to them.

Caller ID?

Who said I wanted Caller ID on my new HD DVR (that I returned because it sucks and isn't Tivo)?

I had no idea my dvr would show who's calling me and I was very surprised to see this.

So when I have guests over to the house, do I want them seeing who's calling me?

The guys are over watching the game and suddenly they see my old lady calling on-screen and I have to deal with a cacophony of "shick-awww!" whip sounds as I get up to get the phone.

Tell you what, let the customer turn that feature on themselves, m'kay?

Substitute DirecTV (sucks) for "Cellphone Companies"

This is pretty much the type of business model DirecTV (sucks) operates:

10 Reasons To Hate Cellphone Companies

De-activated (yes, again!)

Yep, again.

I turned the tv on Sunday morning and sure enough, no picture. I called them and was on hold for 25 minutes until I finally got someone on the line.

I said "what gives?" And they said they said my old Tivo dvr wasn't activated. Then why had it worked fine since Friday?

And why would they turn my new dvr off before I'd even received the return kit, therefore depriving me of service I'm already paying for? Because DirecTV sucks.

The CSR this time was at least friendly and professional. I'd say that happens about 25% of the time by the way. His name is Wade.

So Wade asks me why I want to go back to the old Tivo dvr and reduced set of HD channels?

Well Wade, let me break it down for you:

• I already "upgraded" TWO YEARS AGO in order to get the HD channels.
• I bit the bullet AGAIN in order to get the new new HD channels and was given an inferior dvr AND was expected to continue paying a $6 "service" charge.
• I was also LIED to when they said I could transfer the programs from my old dvr to the new dvr. I never asked if I could keep my old programs, I asked specifically if I could transfer them to the new dvr. The woman on the line said "oh sure, the technician installing the new dvr can do that for you." Lie.

I said I'd just find another deal with Dish Network or Cox Cable. That's when he said, "well sir, your contract is until October of 2009."

"Why would I sign a four and a half year contract?" I said. The last contract I signed was in August of 2005.

He said "well you did sign a new two year contract when they installed the new dvr" he said.

"Dude, the deal is off; I'm returning the dvr. You're even sending me out a return kit."

He said I could have an address I could write to to dispute this. Screw the address, I'm not in any contract because they already violated it. They lied to me about what the new dvr would do and I'm returning the dvr.

See what I mean about a "hostage" mentality?

I said if they wanted to keep me as a customer they can waive the dvr service fee of $6 a month. Why would I continue to pay for something that is inferior to what I had before? This was supposed to be a step UP, not DOWN.

The car I drive has XM satellite and a navigation system. If I go by the new model, guess what? I'm getting even more options INCLUDED like an iPod interface, lighted turn indicators on the side mirrors, fog lights, back up sensors, etc... I sure as hell am not going to buy the same car for a higher price that now doesn't have XM satellite and navigation.

Reminds me of the former East Germany that literally held their citizenry prisoners and the only car you could get (unless you were mafia or had party connections) was the POS Trabant.

That's why there's absolutely no incentive for DirecTV(sucks) to provide their customers with a positive experience; they don't have to.

De-activated

So I called DirecTV(sucks) Friday and said, you know what?...this just isn't working out so well. Your new dvr sucks and won't transfer my old programs like you said it would. I told them they could have it back and that I'd just use my old dvr until I could figure out a better solution.

So they said they'd send me a return kit (shipping labels) and that I'd get that in the mail in about four days.

So I get home Friday night and guess what? No signal. Yep, they deactivated it knowing I wouldn't even be able to send it back for at least four days.

Why not wait until I got the return kit and then deactivate it? I pay for service every day, so why should they cut me off for four days? Because they suck.

So I unhooked the new dvr and hooked up the older but perfect Tivo dvr and I was back in a state of heavenly bliss...